The Myth of the Second Opinion//“What's that in your hand?”
On a Saturday morning in December, one of my sons starting feeling sick. HIs sickness progressed from a stomach ache, to something apparently more serious. After a few rounds of vomiting, he told us that this sickness felt much different than any stomach bug he had in the past, so we took him to the ER that Saturday night. After assessments and tests, they decided that his appendix needed to be removed. (The physician had just had hers removed a few months before, so appendicitis was absolutely on her radar.) After the ER visit, he and I took an ambulance ride to the hospital and stayed for observation overnight. On Sunday morning, the surgeon removed the perpetrator.
On that night, we didn’t have the luxury of getting a second opinion. We didn’t have the time or resources to shop around, consider all the options, inspect all the hospitals, and finally arrive at the very best decision. What are we going to do? Visit three ERs and interview many physicians and surgeons? We just had to go and go with the best info we had.
With emergent medical issues, with wedding photographers, with a plumbing leak, and with choosing the right spouse….the best you can do is do your best. With my son’s surgery, there is no possible way for me to know everything about it. In fact, I know almost nothing about it! And the issue can’t wait.
Sometimes I’m tempted to think that if I had more information, that I could make better decisions. And, sometimes, that’s true. In an abundance of time, I can research all the best options. However, in today’s world of instant everything, I rarely have that luxury. The scarcity of time creates scarcity of information.
In the Old Testament account of the move out of Egypt, Exodus 4 records this interchange between God and Moses: The LORD answered, “What's that in your hand?” “A walking stick,” Moses replied.
The reason I like this story is that Moses had to use what he had. He didn’t get the opportunity for more research or new, shiny resources. He had to use what was available.
Sometimes I feel at the mercy of more research, more time, a bigger and better network. But the way to experience empowerment is to look at the things you have and use them to the best of your abilities.
And the truth is that nobody ever has all the information.
The two sides of the dial are do things right now and the other side of the dial is wait forever and try to collect more information.
Know when to use the second opinion and when to forsake it.