The Ghost Car Comparison

[Nerd alert! I’m about to nerd out on video game talk. Brace yourself.]

One of the top video games for a season was a racing game called Forza. In this game, you can race against what is called a “ghost car” which is the perfect version of the race you’re attempting.

I think about the ghost car often. Instead of enjoying playing a video game or excelling at a race, the vision of that stupid car would get into my head.

And for me, it’s the toxic idea behind comparison. I couldn’t stop comparing my current race to the perfect race of the AI in the game.

But you can’t just turn off the image of the ghost car. “Just stop thinking about it” is no way to proceed.

Dr. Peter Attia wrote a book exploring the practices of living longer. In one chapter, he talks about his emotional intelligence. He writes, “I began using these tools and strategies on a daily basis, forming an emotional health routine of sorts. My deep self-hatred and loathing still contaminated most of my thoughts and emotions.” But he eventually arrived at a better place because he compared his current day and emotional state to days a few years ago that were intolerable.

If you’ve ever tried to diet, one strategy that is often attempted but not adopted is to just stop eating. And this tactic rarely works. You have to navigate toward something that is healthier.

In other words, I can’t just stop comparing. I need to navigate toward a comparison practice that is manageable and governable.

Bad comparison:

Things should be perfect

Things should be like this guy on the socials

Things should be without problems 

It should be happening faster. (This one gets me, for sure)

To tell yourself that any comparison is bad

To attempt to just stop comparing

This author was already very successful at my age

This investor was already a multi-millionaire when he was my age

This professor has a best-selling book

Good comparison:

To the bad old days of the past

To the old me who struggled

To the days I was injured

To the days when I struggled with anger/shame/guilt/anxiety

To who I was in the past

To the things I can do during the day to make it better

To the things in my control (I can’t control the ghost car)

Do you struggle to cope with "the ghost car"? Is it just me?